Goodbye

Don't contact the police. No, I haven't died, been abducted or fallen off the face of the earth. A number of events have come up that have caused me to take some time off from blogging.

I'll start off by quickly mentioning that I've been sick since Christmas. Back in October I developed what I thought was a UTI which hasn't subsided. No antibiotics will help and none of my doctors can figure out what is wrong. Interstitial Cystits perhaps? I'm scheduled to have a cystoscopy later. On Christmas I started feeling nauseous and fatigued with headaches (no, I'm not pregnant:). I don't know if these two things are related but it's caused me to become very weak and run down putting a nix on my sewing spree.

Then sadly, my grandmother passed away early Wednesday morning. She had been in a nursing home for some time and on Tuesday we received a call that she would not make it through the night. My sister and I drove up to Wilkesbarre to see her and say goodbye.

Here she is above with my sister and dad. To the right she is pictured with my uncle and father (middle). I think she was quite beautiful as a young mother.

I had never been to see her in the nursing home before Tuesday. When we sat down next to her bed my father handed me some pictures she kept in a frame on her dresser. They were of my daughters, myself and sister, happy, smiling. It was then that I felt my heart break for the fact that I hadn't come until now, until her passing. She was heavily sedated and in a great deal of pain. It was very questionable as to whether she was aware of our presence. In those few moments I wanted the chance to be alone with her to remind her of all the memories she had made in my life and let her know that she had been loved by me. But I didn't have the courage. I hope that in death she can know that although I am not a person comfortable with exposing emotions, I loved her dearly.

During the funeral service my uncle joked that my grandfather was probably celebrating one crazy New Year's party and told her to come on up. I thought that was funny and sad and sweet. I think she would have agreed.